Alone
by DreamingFree
Summary: Sasuke's thoughts and feelings after Itachi killed their clan. Post-massacre, Sasuke felt alone, so very much alone after his brother killed their clan and abandoned him in the Leaf Village. His heart and mind were arguing making him feel even more miserable. Hint of Sasuke having a crush on Naruto.


**Alone**

******DreamingFree**: Sooo these are how I feel Sasuke's thoughts would go after Itachi murders their clan. There's a little hint of Sasuke having a crush on Naruto but their kids so nothing to bad. Little bit of insanity but hey I think that gives it some class so please enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Not Mine If I owned it, it would be way less confusing but sadly only the idea of the story is mine nothing else.

Numb was the feeling that filled little eight year old Sasuke. Numb, his whole world was numb. Nothing really mattered anymore not to Sasuke at least. The worst night of his life had happened and now he was truly alone, the bodies of his family, his clan littered the Uchiha district the last night. He was alone, so very much alone. His brother, his beloved brother had abandoned him after dyeing the night blood red. Alone and numb was all he could feel even in a hospital room filled with 'concerned' adults that were looming over his head and all he felt was alone and numb. All Sasuke wanted to do was to understand, to understand why. Why, he stared blankly at his pale hands that were settled on the white hospital blanket that covered his legs. Here he was in a hospital bed with 'concerned' people that he didn't know or didn't care about crowded around him talking over his head, words he could hear yet not make out, not understand.

"The boy is alone now." Oh Sasuke understood that he was alone, so very much alone they didn't need to remind of that fact.

"The only one left." He understood that too. No, he wasn't the only one, his brother was alive but his brother had left after he destroyed their clan so he was the only one left, left in the village anyway.

"No family." Oh no, he had family, his brother, his beloved older brother was his only family left, but his brother had abandoned him left him to feel these twisted emotions, to feel numb and alone. He tried to understand why, why would his brother do this, why would his brother kill their mother, their father, their clan these words spun in his head almost making him dizzy. He just wanted to make sense of what had happened. His hand gripped the white blanket tightly, his beloved older brother had caused this nightmare, caused all these twisted emotions now spinning in Sasuke's head and heart. It was his brother's entire fault, Itachi's fault.

"Itachi Uchiha had fled the village." As Sasuke heard his brother's name he wanted to scream to yell at them to tell them they knew nothing they understood nothing of course he had fled. Itachi, the all perfect proud Uchiha, had murder every last Uchiha except for Sasuke. Sasuke almost wished that his brother had ended his life that night, he would not be so confused then he wouldn't be so lost then. His mind still could not wrap around why he was still alive, sure his brother had told him he wasn't worth killing that was something his mind did accept without a second thought but his heart would not accept those words. His mind and heart were screaming at each other battling fighting. His heart screamed that big brother wouldn't do that not without a reason while his mind screamed that big brother had abandoned them, that he Sasuke meant nothing to big brother that it was all fake that it all meant nothing. His heart growled that no big brother was not fake big brother loved them big brother cared.

'_Big brother abandoned us!' _His mind yelled fiercely. _'Big brother has no need for us he abandoned us.' _His mind continued to rant and his heart was not having it.

'_Big brother loves us!' He has a reason for leaving us here.' _His heart stated just as fierce as his mind. _'He left us alive. He needs us!' _His heart reasoned with hope with need.

'_He left us!' He wants us to suffer.' _His mind again lately had always been thinking of all the bad things and been negative since the night of the massacre.

'_He had to leave us to keep us safe.' _His heart this time, oh how he wished what his heart said was true. Sasuke had no idea what to think or what to feel, his mind and heart were in a battle, a battle of the why and with both of them trying to understand both of them thinking and feeling differently about this.

"Sasuke, sweetie you're healed and healthy you're free to go." A nurse said trying to be overly sweet and sugary to the depressed confused boy. All Sasuke could feel was the overwhelming need to scream at her that no he was not healed, he was still wounded on his heart from his family being taken away from him from being abandoned. He wanted to shout at her to stop smiling that everything was not okay, that he was not okay, he would never be okay, that being happy would not help him, that he felt miserable but he nodded his head silently to her hoping to get as far away from this hospital from these people as he could. Maybe, just maybe that would help him be rid of the crazy feeling he was getting from the arguing going on in his head and heart. Sasuke had left the gloomy hospital and allowed his feet to carry him without his mind to realize just where he was going. His eyes hadn't taken in the scene until he felt wood under his feet and he looked up to see a sparkling lake with a wooden dock. He had walked all the way to the lake without realizing it until he was standing in front of it.

'Perfect maybe this will help me clear my head.' Sasuke thought as he plopped down so he was sitting on the wooden dock with his feet hanging over the water. The sun was starting to set casting a silent peace that sounded loud in Sasuke's ears. Sasuke felt as if his body weighted heavy all the feelings started to catch up him. His body felt warn and tired and the overwhelming feeling of missing his family took hold of him. He felt as though he was the only to feel this way, now he had no one to chase away his nightmares, Itachi, no one to prove himself to, father, and no one to make him feel better when his brother wasn't able to spend time with him, mother. The lonely feeling grew in size he didn't understand why this had to happen to him.

'_We had a family until they left us, until big brother left us.' _Great his mind had came back to make him feel even more miserable then before. The negativity in his mind grew and he began to count. He got to five when his heart spoke up.

'_Big brother did not mean to.' _Was his heart's defense for his brother. His heart was overflowing with the hope his brother really didn't mean to leave that he had a reason. He looked up to his brother, his brother gave him the most attention and his heart loved big brother very much his mind however did not. It was like he had an angel and devil on his shoulder arguing only this time he did not know which one was right and which one was wrong. He shook his head, his dull black eyes staring into the sparkling blue of the lake. He knew the moment he left this lake that people would start telling him how sorry they were about the loss of his family and how they understood how he was feeling. He knew that they did not understand they didn't even care they only pitied him. He didn't want their pity; their pity would not fix his family and heal his broken heart.

'No one cares.' Sasuke thought himself as he stared at the colors that tinted the lake's surface.

'_That's not true, someone out there does care.' _His heart said defiantly, it still had hope, hope that his mind threw out the moment he saw the shadowy figure of his brother standing over the bloody bodies of their parents. His heart wouldn't give up that hope or that love.

'_Big brother doesn't care.' _His mind yelled. The argument between his heart and head circled around his brother. Both his mind and heart circled around his brother, one outlook was negative and hateful and the other one was positive and filled with love. He was torn between loving his brother and trying to find the will to hate his brother.

'_He does too care!' _His heart yelled back. There we go again the argument began anew. Sasuke's head was beginning to spin as the two sides of himself fought. He moved his small hands up to clutch the sides of his head hoping to get the argument to stop. When he was sure that the argument was nowhere near finished he began to block out their words hoping to save himself the headache that was coming. He didn't want to think of his brother and their yelling was always about big brother he just wanted to forget and yet he knew he could not. Sasuke let his hands drop from his head only after doing so he began to see a figure walking toward the lake on the dirt road that ran alongside it. Sasuke turned his head slightly to look at the figure. The figure turned out to be a boy around the same age as him and was what most people would say the exact opposite of him. He, Sasuke, had dark blue almost black hair and black eyes and this boy had bright blonde hair with the brightest blue eyes Sasuke had seen. Sasuke could see surprise beginning to write itself onto the blonde's face.

'Naruto.' Sasuke thought as he continued to look at the blonde and that's when Sasuke realized something. He realized that Naruto, like himself was very much alone. Naruto although did not know the feeling of loss, he did know the feeling of loneliness that Sasuke did. 'He's alone, like me.' Sasuke thought as the surprise began to disappear from Naruto's face. Sasuke excepted to see a pity look on Naruto's face and was pleasantly surprised when he saw understanding flash through Naruto's eyes and face before Naruto gave him a gentle and sad knowing smile. A smile that did not set Sasuke off, a smile that did not make Sasuke want to scream Sasuke that someone knew what he was feeling, that Naruto cared and would be there for Sasuke this smile made Sasuke feel more at peace it told. Sasuke did not realize that his face had gotten warm a light none noticeable blush found its way to his face as he watched Naruto begin to walk off. Sasuke for the first time since the night of the massacre felt warmer lighter.

'_He understands.'_ Sasuke's mind said before falling silent, he felt his mind settle into a warm peace the thought of Naruto's understanding smile replaced his ragging thoughts and his mind was finally found peace.

'_He cares.' _His heart says as it begins to beat just a bit faster than usually at the thought. A fluttering feeling began to take a hold of Sasuke. His mind and heart had finally found a peace for now he could rest a bit easier now that his heart and head were not ragging against each other.

'I'm not alone.' Sasuke thought as he turned to look at the surface of the lake again. Someone understood and cared about what he was going through and for now that was enough, for now that was all he needed.

**DreamingFree:** Soo I hope you enjoyed my story, please review I might add a story on Itachi or Naruto's side of how this story plays out do review an tell me how you feel about


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